After a drunken conversation on the subject of dressing, some rules emerged on what to wear and when. It is these rules that I have chosen to share with you. So listen up, and listen good because I am about to share my pearls of wisdom.
Rule number 1: Always make an effort, if you don't the results are obvious.
Rule number 2: Never allow it to look like you made an effort. Looking like you made and effort is worse than not making one at all.
Rule number 3: Never wear any novelty clothing, examples include ties with cartoons on and t-shirts with phrases like "if found please return to pub" on. Both examples indicate the item of clothing has more character than the person wearing it.
Rule number 4: Don't try the scruffy suit thing, you look like a twelve year old who has just been given his new school uniform. A suit is the only time you can ignore rule number 2. You should be immaculate. Look in the mirror and ask yourself "do I look like a footballer?". If the answer is yes then take it off and start again.
Obey these rules and your life will be improved and you will only have to worry about witty conversation, the correct drinks order and opening the doors for those you wish to impress.
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